One Question for When You Feel Stuck in Your Personal Growth
We love setting highly tangible goals. Goals with numbers attached to them – weight and income especially – seem to be our go-to when it comes to creating goals because they are so freakin easy to measure. You either did or did not hit that specific number.
Now, there are a few flaws with this logic, but where it really goes south is when we’re looking to improve in areas that aren’t so tangible. When we want to grow on a deeply personal level, often our goals are things like, feeling more confident, having more patience, responding instead of reacting, setting and keeping stronger boundaries, etc.
First off, these are the kind of goals I go nuts over. These are the kind of goals that are truly life-changing. But…how the hell do we measure them?
When we’ve been working on feeling more confident, and a situation presents itself where we definitely do not feel confident, it’s too easy to feel like we haven’t grown at all. One single situation clouds everything else and it feels like we are most certainly failing at our personal growth goals.
What I hate about this is that it makes people shy away from even going after these types of goals, and it definitely hinders us from feeling we’re making progress.
Here is one question that serves as an amazing check-in tool:
How would I have handled this a year ago?
Sure, maybe in that moment you feel you don’t have more patience, you know for sure you are more insecure than ever, or you are an overreacting stresscase. But, how would you have handled that same situation a year ago? That’s where you see how you’ve grown.
I’ve heard clients respond by saying, “Well, it really upset me but I was over it in a few hours. Last year I would have stewed for at least 2 days.”
When you look back, you’re seeing how your overall state of being has changed, not just focusing on one intense incident.
This is growth, and this is the type of growth that changes the type of people we are. We can transform into who we want to be, but it’s slow and it’s often hard to see.
Use this question to remind you of the progress you cannot see. Then, celebrate the heck out of those shifts!
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