How I Stop the Worry Train
My memory of fertility treatments can be summed up in two words: Worrying and Waiting.
I specifically remember walking the dog one morning and within 15 seconds I experienced the worry-spiral of all worry-spirals.
I started thinking that once we got past setting the date for our egg retrieval, I’d feel more assured and calm. I wouldn’t be so worried!
Then I realized I would be worried about how many eggs we got.
Then I’d be anxious about how many embryos.
There’d be the IVF transfer itself.
The two week wait before we had our pregnancy test – the mother of all worrying, in my eyes.
Wait, there’s more! I’d be anxious to get past the first trimester.
There’d be an anatomy scan to worry about.
Making it to full term was a real concern.
Ok, so let’s say I make it through a healthy and safe labor, and everything went perfectly.
HOLY SHIT, THEN I WOULD HAVE A BABY OUT IN THE WORLD TO TAKE CARE OF!!
Y’all, this ended up being a lightening bolt moment.
It hit me that I needed to stop assuming that there was an easy breezy life on the other side of whatever I was worried about, AND INSTEAD figure out how to manage my worries.
There will ALWAYS be something to worry about. (I’m not just talking about trying to get knocked up anymore, stay with me!)
Figuring out how to bring comfort and calm into your life DESPITE what’s nagging at you, is like discovering a protective Zen blanket.
For me, that meant practicing stopping myself at the first worry stop. Make you mantra, “I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.” and move on.