4 steps to a new mindset - Blog

4 Steps to a New Mindset

Don’t do what I’ve done.

I used to waste tons of energy, and even more hours, fretting over the exact goals I was setting (is it too far fetched, not far enough, the right focus??), and assuming it was my determination or motivation that needed fixing.

It’s not the specific goals you set, your level of determination, motivation, OR willpower that have the biggest impact on getting what you want.

It’s – drumroll, please – your mindset.

Here are 4 crucial steps to up-level your mindset


Think I was going to start with instructions on how to have Positive Vibes Only? Nope. To change your mindset you gotsta start DEEP.

First, get to the core of who you are and what you value and believe. Comparison is the biggest mindset saboteur. Knowing who YOU are and what YOU value makes it easy to crush comparison.⁠ ⁠

To do this work, you have to get honest, really honest. Sure, you say one of your values is your friends, but how much effort are you putting into maintaining and even growing your relationships? Identify your top values by looking at what you prioritize. What takes most of your time and attention? What do you let slide?

Read this: 10 Friend Date Ideas That Aren’t Dinner and Drinks

⁠ ⁠Next, what makes you you? Before you start looking at what you want to change, make note of what you love and want to capitalize on.

Why do your friends love hanging out with you? What is it about you that your partner would brag about? What makes you a good mom, sister, daughter, coworker?

It's not the specific goals you set, your level of determination, motivation, OR willpower that have the biggest impact on getting what you want. It's your mindset. Here are 4 crucial steps for a healthy mindset.


You’ve got WHO you are, but HOW do you want to live this one bomb-ass life? How do you want to react? How do you want to see the world? ⁠ ⁠

Visualization is the top way to wrap your mind around the intangible. It can be hard to express in words the vibe you want to put into the world, and how you want to feel when situations arise. It’s more of a “know it when you feel it” type deal.

To grasp how you want to feel, list at least 5 people – those who you know personally, or celebrity personalities – who you would love to emulate. What is it about them that makes you think, “I wish I had more of that.”? How do they react, what are phrases they use, what is their outlook on life?

Now, think of 3 specific situations were you wish you’d reacted differently. Thinking over these other people you enjoy, and what you already love about yourself, how do you wish you had responded?


Let’s get out of your head, and look closer at your environment. Creating the space, mentally and physically, that cultivates and aligns with the mindset you want is a big step you do not want to miss. This takes 3 forms:

Who you surround yourself with

Who do you spend the most time and energy on? Are your friends supportive of you and the positive changes you want for yourself? Social media makes it really easy to stay in touch, but that’s not always a great thing. Do you have friends in your life because they’ve simply always been there?

Getting rid of draining, unsupportive relationships opens you up for the people who lift you up.

You’re not getting out of this post without me talking about a social media detox! Rid your feed of anything, and anyone, that drags you into what you’re trying to leave behind.

What you surround yourself with

Clear out your crap! Decluttering your home declutters your brain. I know, I know, it feels unconnected, but Marie Kondo’s book is titled The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up for a freaking reason. Start small, one drawer, one area of your closet, just start. It gets easier as you go and the lightness you will feel is empowering in itself.

How you talk to yourself

Watch those negative comments! Allowing your thoughts to spiral into a worry, doubtful, tornado is definitely a toxic environment that could stand to by cleaned up.

Read This: How to Turn Negative Thoughts into Positive Affirmations

Listen to what you say to yourself, about yourself. Even if you find a positive spin a total stretch, work on getting from negative to neutral. If you find yourself saying, “I’ll never get there” and “I know I will reach my goal”, try, “I’m closer than yesterday”. Obviously, this is insanely generic but I know you have a thought pattern in your mind!


Now that you know who you are, where you want to go, and you’ve created an environment that supports you, it’s time to start practicing!

Create awareness by simply noticing your thoughts and actions. Regularly practice actions aligned with the mindset you want to make it a habit.⁠ I have my clients make a list of actions that get them closer to the feeling and mindset they want, and those that drive them away. ⁠

Can you make the positive actions part of a new routine? If walking outside uplifts you, how can you work that into your daily self-care routine?

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