3 Ways to Cultivate a Positive Mindset During the Two Week Wait
Oooh, the emotional roller coaster that is the two week wait (TWW). The first couple of times through this rodeo are pretty exciting. But, the longer you’re at it, especially if you’ve started the path of fertility treatments, the excitement wears off.
You become obsessed with the outcome, and see your life in two-week chunks of time. You’re on edge, and hyperaware of every feeling in your body. In short, you’re not exactly enjoying it.
The first time through IVF, I felt a ton of anxiety. However, the following month, the cycle that resulted with our now 2-year old, I felt oddly at ease for the majority of the TWW.
Here are 3 shifts that helped me get in a more positive headspace:
Allow Yourself to Feel Hope
Once you’ve been trying for longer than you imagined (whether it’s 7 months or 3 years), your instinct evolves to protect yourself from getting hurt. It’s like you feel you’ll jinx the outcome if you’re completely hopeful.
The thing is, whether you pass two weeks feeling hopeful or two weeks guarding yourself, you’re going to feel crushed when it’s negative. If you’re this far in your TTC (trying to conceive) journey, you don’t need to remind yourself that this may not be the month you get a big fat positive.
Letting yourself feel hopeful is a much lighter and more enjoyable way to live for 14 days. It could actually increase your chances of conception by lowering your anxiety, allowing you to sleep, breathe, and function better (really!) Plus, there is no downside for being full of hope.
Have a Plan B
For me, and many women, having a plan of action for a negative result provides enough comfort to be positive. A personal example, the round that ended up working was our last embryo. This meant that if it didn’t work, we would need to go back to the egg retrieval process before getting to try again. Those stakes felt really high.
Putting all of the pressure for that round to work, as if it was our only chance of having a baby, was way too intense. Instead, I briefly thought of an actual next step.
For me, it was seeing a different doctor, one that I actually met at a fertility event the day I found out our first transfer was a chemical pregnancy, for a second opinion. I didn’t obsess over this plan, but it confirmed that this was not the end of our road.
Having a semblance of a backup plan relieves some of the pressure for things working out that month, which allows room for positive thoughts.
Live with Gratitude Now
When you are only focused on the future, you create a black hole of Waiting. It’s easy to get caught in this trap. The longer you try, and the more money, time, and emotions you invest in getting pregnant, it feels like your entire life revolves around getting pregnant.
I promise you, there are things to enjoy and wonderful aspects of your life going on around you. You have qualities that others envy, and you’ve put them on the back-burner.
Make a list of things you enjoy. Things you wish you’d had 10 years ago. Things that make you laugh. That excite you. Each day, try to spend more time focused on those than worrying about the future. This time will go by no matter what happens, please don’t waste it.
Waiting for your baby is hard. Staying positive can feel impossible. If you’re ready for a fresh perspective, let’s talk. I offer a free 30 minute Mindset Jump Start Session that provides the boost you need to reset your outlook. Get it on your calendar now!